the most interesting time of the year

today is my last day in Svishtov for this year - i'm in my room drinking coffee and finishing my things...decided to write about things that happened recently now - it's better to do it when i'm in good mood:)

weeks after ACT were really crazy - so many emotions, tons of work, little sleep, problems...
after the moments i was down the real challenges and fun came - i went on a lot of company meetings with newies, we organized a conference (it's funny how relaxed everyone was till the last moment:) at that time i felt once again how cool is to be LCP! going back i'd never changed my decision!
then applications for MC came - so many doubts, energy and sleepless nights to fill it in the best way...so many dreams of how it'll look like...one amazing year in Sofia... Cool ppl applied - that motivated me more...even cooler ppl supported me by writing an endorsement (it's so nice to read good things about you)or just said "Good luck"
then time for conference came - crazy three days of preparation...not sleeping, great challenges with communication:)
somewhere here another challenge appeared - a really cool one - these stolen moments with you saved me of nervous breakdown:) thank you...
the conference was cool - great idea - great chair - great faci team - happy realizations for me and my team:) hope now we'll make them come true!
and presentations and Q&A came - expected to be harder, speech prepared during brakes and lunches on the conferences, positive feedback after that -> cool feeling
but...i said things ppl didn't like to hear - amazing change in attitude towards me...i still cannot understand how ppl can have so wrong idea of themselves...taking things personally as always (thought it changed somehow)
then long useless talks and gossiping - the most unprofessional way of doing decision
Felt really proud of my EB team - they showed attitude and behaved as real AIESECers!
parties where leaders of the organization sit outside, smoking and drinking beer like pensioners...facis in their room...i cannot understand this - as we don't enjoy being in AIESEC...
OC team - most of them newies disappointed of the EBs of AIESEC in Bulgaria and i don't know what to say...
last morning i realized what's going to happen...felt awful...the only ppl i could talk was my EB and some members of MC...strange behavior of others...smiling as if they apologize for sth:)
hm...then GA on Monday - one of the moments i was ashamed i'm in AIESEC (happy there were no externals)
what i expected happened...no surprise...tons of emotions...lots of ppl shaking my hand and telling stupid things, saying "sorry" (for what!?!)
then GA continues and 3 LCs sit on the back rows and nobody ask them what is their opinion...AIESEC in Bulgaria took several strategic decisions without even asking 3 LCs - we elected MCP, voted MC members, elected controller (from the second try:), changed the internal rules (according to what is suitable for certain LCs), elected BoA...at this moment i felt like part of the furnitures in the room not like the leader of one of the LCs...wanted to go out and never come back to this place...but stayed
then decided to ask for feedback from those who didn't supported me - no comment
after this - nice coffee with Steli, Ilio, Blago and Yassar
then travel back to Svishtov, self-reflection and really nice evening...
now i'm asking myself what i did wrong, what could've been changed...still emotions are strong and cannot be objective...on one hand i'm sure i was right and not going to change my opinion...on the other hand - maybe i was too hard, i didn't make enough effort to explain my point of view, wasn't diplomatic...
don't know - time will show
now i have really cool time with my challenge:) and with the decision for the future - it's so inspiring to know that there are so many opportunities!
last i want to thank ppl who helped me a lot these weeks - Yana, Ilio, Petya, Dancho, Mimi, Nely, Sevi, Steli, Blago, Emo, Eli, Aga, Bobi, Vyara, Adas, Masha, Agus, Malina, Yassar, Iva and Michal.

10 days to decide about future - isn't it cool:)

happy?

I asked myself this question just right now when a classmate asked me in skype how are you? And although today I feel exhausted and a lot of problems occurred I wrote just "I feel great, really happy!" and it was true:)
heh strange thing - still miss so many things I need but overall I feel happy with my life!

wall of commitments

oranges

just wanted to share how much I love oranges - their colour, taste, remind me Christmas and good things:)

wanna be somewhere else

after the conference I have this strange feeling - want to be somewhere else...
first i thought it's due to excitement around ACT - it's every time like that after AIESEC conference. But now 3 days passed and I'm still not feeling comfortable...
I cannot concentrate on my everyday things, all my thoughts are in future (or in ACT)
Thinking of MC, of one year in Sofia, challenging myself...searching for new things, new people
but still - what I do now is the most important and there is no sense going further if your current path is not good
or it's up to me to make it good
I don't know - confusion time
and I was just reading blogs - when someone was so influenced by me I feel strange, confused, great, guilty - so many things
...

what have you done today to make you feel proud

recently I found this great song of Heather Small - putting in the list several time every evening...It somehow appeals to me very much - to my thoughts and feelings...

I look into the window of my mind
Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind
I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can't stop me now
And you can do the same

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom

Still so many answers I don't know
Realize that to question is how we grow
So I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can't stop me now
And you can do the same

It's never too late to try
You could be so many people
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

We need a change
Do it today
I can feel my spirit rising
We need a change
So do it today
'Cause I can see a clear horizon

ACT

it would be strange not to write about ACT 2007 - the most amazing conference I've been so far! Although it's two days passed I'm still confused - why it's so hard to back to reality - responsibilities in AIESEC, studies...most of my thoughts are still there...

people I met there motivated me so much - I think I totally changed my concept (see previous posts here:) The international faci team and our beloved chair - really cool people every one different, funny and last but not least - AChiever! It was great to work with you! Maybe for first time I realized the cultural diversity - we were from different countries but still understanding each other (even sometimes without English). I feel proud be part of the team created this conference!
When I remember the funny and great moments I wish to be back to Sofia and be with you again! Lazy bastardinos looking for that prolongatore :))))
Our great team - Jagoda, Zo, Aga, Milojko, Ashad, Dobrila, Iva, Tokrotka and Stanojka!