today is my last day in Svishtov for this year - i'm in my room drinking coffee and finishing my things...decided to write about things that happened recently now - it's better to do it when i'm in good mood:)
weeks after ACT were really crazy - so many emotions, tons of work, little sleep, problems...
after the moments i was down the real challenges and fun came - i went on a lot of company meetings with newies, we organized a conference (it's funny how relaxed everyone was till the last moment:) at that time i felt once again how cool is to be LCP! going back i'd never changed my decision!
then applications for MC came - so many doubts, energy and sleepless nights to fill it in the best way...so many dreams of how it'll look like...one amazing year in Sofia... Cool ppl applied - that motivated me more...even cooler ppl supported me by writing an endorsement (it's so nice to read good things about you)or just said "Good luck"
then time for conference came - crazy three days of preparation...not sleeping, great challenges with communication:)
somewhere here another challenge appeared - a really cool one - these stolen moments with you saved me of nervous breakdown:) thank you...
the conference was cool - great idea - great chair - great faci team - happy realizations for me and my team:) hope now we'll make them come true!
and presentations and Q&A came - expected to be harder, speech prepared during brakes and lunches on the conferences, positive feedback after that -> cool feeling
but...i said things ppl didn't like to hear - amazing change in attitude towards me...i still cannot understand how ppl can have so wrong idea of themselves...taking things personally as always (thought it changed somehow)
then long useless talks and gossiping - the most unprofessional way of doing decision
Felt really proud of my EB team - they showed attitude and behaved as real AIESECers!
parties where leaders of the organization sit outside, smoking and drinking beer like pensioners...facis in their room...i cannot understand this - as we don't enjoy being in AIESEC...
OC team - most of them newies disappointed of the EBs of AIESEC in Bulgaria and i don't know what to say...
last morning i realized what's going to happen...felt awful...the only ppl i could talk was my EB and some members of MC...strange behavior of others...smiling as if they apologize for sth:)
hm...then GA on Monday - one of the moments i was ashamed i'm in AIESEC (happy there were no externals)
what i expected happened...no surprise...tons of emotions...lots of ppl shaking my hand and telling stupid things, saying "sorry" (for what!?!)
then GA continues and 3 LCs sit on the back rows and nobody ask them what is their opinion...AIESEC in Bulgaria took several strategic decisions without even asking 3 LCs - we elected MCP, voted MC members, elected controller (from the second try:), changed the internal rules (according to what is suitable for certain LCs), elected BoA...at this moment i felt like part of the furnitures in the room not like the leader of one of the LCs...wanted to go out and never come back to this place...but stayed
then decided to ask for feedback from those who didn't supported me - no comment
after this - nice coffee with Steli, Ilio, Blago and Yassar
then travel back to Svishtov, self-reflection and really nice evening...
now i'm asking myself what i did wrong, what could've been changed...still emotions are strong and cannot be objective...on one hand i'm sure i was right and not going to change my opinion...on the other hand - maybe i was too hard, i didn't make enough effort to explain my point of view, wasn't diplomatic...
don't know - time will show
now i have really cool time with my challenge:) and with the decision for the future - it's so inspiring to know that there are so many opportunities!
last i want to thank ppl who helped me a lot these weeks - Yana, Ilio, Petya, Dancho, Mimi, Nely, Sevi, Steli, Blago, Emo, Eli, Aga, Bobi, Vyara, Adas, Masha, Agus, Malina, Yassar, Iva and Michal.
10 days to decide about future - isn't it cool:)
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4 comments:
Tony, all I want to say is this - you made your best - they made their worst... There's nothing to be sorry about. There's nothing to be ashamed of. There's nothing you can change from the past. But there's everything you can change for the future. You have my full support. I'm sure you have the support of Mitko, Vyara, your EB, the whole LC... There a whole bunch of people that will help you out in every decision you make for your future. Be sure in this!!! So cheer up and step forward! It's up to you!
Dear...I think I know how you feel.
And you know what - they don't deserve you...If this didn't happen- it means that something better is waiting for you around the corner. I strongly believe you will be very successful in whatever u do, dear.
Don't regret anything, cause all these are precious lessons.
Hugz and happy Christmas :)
My dear Tony,
People all around the world are thinking about you and care about the special person you are!!!
Challenges come and come but the important thing is for us take the most out of it and I know for sure you did :D
I sent you from Cluj, my hometown, lots of hugs and tones of energy!!!
Malina
Hey Tony,
I guess I didn't tell you all the things I wanted on GA but I might as well do it here on your blog.
One thing was for sure - you were far from diplomatic on WEC - you stated your oppinion and you stated it loud. By doing so you offended some people (me too). I'm not going to judge you for that, actually I admire you for that. I'm not sure it was the best thing to do as MC candidate but it was your thing, it was the way you feel. I believe you are an honest person and you speak what's on your mind. Keep it that way! Be yourself! Some people may not like you for that but most important is that you and the people around you like you for what you are.
About the vote of trust - I actually knew what was going to happen. When I spoke with LC Varna on WEC I felt that they don't like your direct approach and were not pleased with you. Actually I wasn't far from their oppinion because I was affected by your words on WEC. But the thing I'm ashamed about is that I didn't step up for you when my LC told me that they are going to vote against you. I decided to "wash my hands" and let them do as they wish instead of defending a person who I thing is a good profesional and is perfectly suitable for MC in Bulgaria.
Well, what's done is done, there is no turning back! One door was slammed in front of your face but there are still many doors that may lead you to happiness and development. Take it from a person with solid experience in that - you never know what you win when you lose something!
I am curious to see which way you will go to and I'm keepng my fingers crossed for you no matter what you decide to do!
Best wishes!
Ivo
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