people

Relationships with others take such a huge part of our lives, we spent so much energy, thoughts and attention on that, but if you think there is no place to learn how to do it properly...Even the best Universities don't offer programs in "building sustainable friendships", "being a good father" or "maintaining good family atmosphere"...Isnt that a paradox, such an important thing, and nobody actually knows how to do it right :) I guess that's the point - on the way we learn something from here and there, have fun and try to be better.
Now, I have much more free time and it gave me chance to observe a lot - my friends, people on the streets, colleagues in office. Especially when you dont understand everything of the language sometimes the only thing left is to observe - body language, reactions, intonation, etc - it's just precious. But I have the feeling people are kind of lost in so many situations, if they could go back they could've said/done something different...
Colombia is for sure the country of strong relationships, family and friends. People here value this the most, they prefer to do things together, their love is strong, as well as suffering...Not much in the middle...that amazed me a lot, and I really liked it. I understand much more this beautiful culture! Maybe that would be the place to learn about people, real people who dont always hurry, but just live their lives...

back to blogging

back again, long breaks from blogging give me some inspiration to write :)
now I am having amazingly interesting moment in my life - I left the active and dynamic life of President of AIESEC Bulgaria and went to one amazing country on the other side of the Atlantic ocean - Colombia! Another exchange plus leadership, some kind of duty, crazy step, dream, needed break - it is some of all these...
Now i have a lot of free time, to think, reflect and think again, and again about life, experiences I had, and the things I want to achieve - sometimes I feel living more in the future (or in the past) than in the present. I;ve always perceived the present as some step, something that needs to pass, to be overcome, to go to the next stage, and then all over again...have you ever felt in that way? (that btw is so much contradictory to the culture here that brings me some of the biggest cultural shocks:)

I really enjoy my internship, but the greatest part of my mind is taken by that question - WHAT'S NEXT? Should I decide now (i have already several options) or just let it go and see what life will bring, am I already too old for adventures and ready for planned life or still in those years that you can try unrelated /not career experiences???...I dont know:)

My Russia

My Russia - yes it is my second home country! Maybe it's late to realize some things in the age of 23 - but now I had this strong feeling that this country is so important for me - the people, culture,language, food, weather...

I was invited to chair a conference in Ufa - a city that I didn't know almost anything except the name :) Russia is so big and diverse - i didnt realize that - you can travel for 30 hours with train to get in the nearest big city, there are different republics with their religion, culture, language :)

Well, now I can say Ufa is an amazing place - mainly cause of the people living here, you can feel great warmth, hospitality and honesty in them...I always believed all people are generally good - in Ufa I could feel it really all the time... living in big city and working for MC makes you sometimes too hard, too demanding and little bit impersonal - hm, maybe it's normal but why we don't just live nice, why surroundings change people...i don't want to live like that my whole life...:) Whatever...
The interesting point was that while being so nice, friendly and somehow naive AIESECers here work very hard, make things happen and don't complain...it was so motivating for me! Chairing was very inspiring experience - being just me and people liked it - they don't criticize or judge, just enjoy and have fun :) Working with faci team - one of the best teams I worked with - simple, powerful, warm, professional, deep, funny and emotional people...thank you Diana, Alfiya, Gulnara, Petya, Delya, Pasha, Lena, Ira, Victor, Manana, Regina, Yulia, Liza and Masha! Thanks also to Danil - the OCP of the conference - one guy that impressed me with his inner strength and potential!

Speaking Russian - another challenge for me - in the end even i facilitated sessions in Russian with my bulgarian accent, I so much want to stay here more and speak fluently...have you ever had the feeling that speaking another language makes you stronger and smarter? :)

the FOOD - without any doubt I can say for me this is the country with the best food in the world! I got used to drink tea every 2 hours and didnt have coffee for almost 5 days:)

I also visited my lovely aunt in Moscow - a crazy and not-normal place to live according to me:) so many people, lost identity, modern and old in the same time, traditional and extreme, rich and poor - so many contrasts - as whole Russia btw:) Standing on the Red Square and walking in Kremlin is an experience you should try - there you feel how great and powerful is this country with all its contradictions!

This trip was more personal than professional - made me think a lot about my life, future plans, what I like, etc. One is for sure - I want to come back and live here for 1-2 years - i want to explore more and more Russia...it's much more deep than you think...

here is a song that i use for self-reflection:

good things

it is very hard to summarize the last months in some smart sentence or light-motive :) for sure it was one of the most interesting and challenging times in my life...total responsibility, many new people and more people, their emotions, feelings, irrational, cool, motivating, problems, travelling, perspectives, compromise, strong love, success and confidence - maybe those are some of the words to describe my feelings recently.

One thing is for sure - - I don't know if you had those times when you feel perfectly ok with yourself :P well I am like that now...you know when you see yourself in the mirror and say "yeah, that's a cool guy" :) don't laugh, it's not too much confidence, just feeling happy with what you are...

and one more conclusion - I realized how POWERFUL and amazing is AIESEC, whatever you say - it is simply the biggest, the coolest and the most valuable organization in the world...I can put many arguments for that if you ask me :) yeah many fuck-ups happen, many challenges to overcome, but when you look from my perspective of 4 years I see only great things, things to remember!

and finally one great remix of one great song - Do you think radio will disappear? I hope not :)

nice song :)

here is a cool song I like very much recently:

comfort zones

people in our country emigrate to more developed countries because there will be their comfort zone - security, more money, etc.

people stay in Bulgaria and go abroad to try something interesting cause here is their comfort zone, even if they don't like the work, the garbage, the politicians, etc

people don't leave their girlfriend/boyfriend cause it has been long with her/him and is comfort zone - although they dont love each other and quarrel all the time...

people prefer to donate money by sending sms, rather than go and help the homeless/blind children. Cause it is comfortable to sit in your chair and send sms

people prefer to watch others' lives on TV rather than having their own. Cause it is comfortable to sit in your chair

people don't call companies to sell cause it is taking them out of their comfort zone

students prefer to "have a lot to study" and in the same time spending the exam session time doing nothing. Cause it is easier than to do something useful

people like to complain that there is no agenda prepared for a meeting, rather than propose how to have effective meeting - cause it is more comfortable to complain and blame rather than have ideas

we prefer to send somebody message on Facebook rather go and see the person and talk...cause it is our comfort zone to be online 7/24

we never go to our professors in Uni and propose to them how to improve - they will never listen to us, cause both sides will need to go out of their comfort

we give feedback only when the issue is concerning us directly, rarely only with the purpose to contribute to the development of somebody

i am writing in my blog now cause it makes me feel comfortable :)

slef-reflection

i was sitting long before writing something, i knew i want to write...but what? then i decided to put all things i have on my mind

I discovered how many things I missed during my active years in @ - discos, random days, movies, walks, reading novels, weekends, sleeping till lunch. Bad time management or just right prioritization, maybe I didnt need those....
---
also I think a lot what I will do in my life - well, I have time to find out...I worry that instead of thinking about my year as MCP I think about my internship after that. I need some thrilling and challenging, crazy internship...Maybe I know that this year will go in good way, I already know what is MC life, that's why I dont worry... My new team is so cool and energizing me all the time - thank you girls and Gasho:) New EBs are also just amazing - never felt such enjoyment and care on AIESEC conference as on PlanCo! We have ambitious plans...Everything is in place for the greatest term in history :) but still when I have time for self-reflection I think mostly about the time after it...maybe because this is the unclear thing and need to be thought about...
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I was assessing myself and started to answer if I'm that kind of person that follows a goal whatever it takes, or just somebody who is highly responsible....there is difference...it seems sometimes I give up easy, or not :) what is needed from me?
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and I realized how important is family - my parents are the biggest support and example for me - I cannot imagine how I would do the things I do and I like without their support, also the attitude and values they teach me! I am proud of my parents!
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i am sure all stuff i do makes sense cause one day being 50 i will not regret, cause they are good for people, they change something, that is enough :)
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next time i will share about my idea for my own University :)

random - song, doubts, sarcasm, train, old classmates

let's start with one cool song i found out in my playlist - Rossana - A fuego lento



I have strange feeling recently that I know exactly what I need to do, how to communicate my ideas, what to do with people around me - everything I know...but i don't do it, like i dont have energy for all this
I feel somehow guilty about it, seems i need some self-ass-kicking exercise or something like that...

And one question for homework - do you think that being sarcastic shows that you have some complexes, or sometimes it can be just feature of your character?

Last week I went to Svishtov with the night train - something I haven't done for 2 years. It is very cool 8 hours trip, I was reading "The 7 habits" again and felt amazing, i recommend traveling with train alone, sometimes it gives you interesting insight on life.

I also have been to Plovdiv and met my classmates from the 1-7 class...we graduated in 2000 (9 years ago..) and still some of these people I feel very close to me, some of my best friends - although we meet once in 6 months, and do not write often - still we have so many things to talk about, you know you can rely on them

Finally - I am already 23, sounds awful but what to do, life is life :P
one small thing made me smile on my birthday - one girl I recruited in AIESEC who went on internship called me from abroad and wished me all the good things, but also I felt she is somehow thankful for what I was doing...she is calling me on each holiday. that's why I love working with people - they are thankful and you see the point!

Italian thoughts

well here I'm eating original pizza in Napoli :) the people there claim that it started in their town and don't admit any other than Napolitan pizza :)(btw they hate PizzaHut) it was good, very very good indeed. We were walking in the rain for more than hour looking for a nice place to eat this...in one moment I thought that in Sofia you're more likely to find pizza place than in Napoli but then...(You may ask if we came here only for the pizza - well after seeing Napoli, it is for sure the best thing!)
by chance we found a beautiful small traditional restaurant - just like in the books, covers on checks, smiley Italians, wine, noise...everything is perfect...

Italy makes you feel confused whether you like it or no...I was so happy to come back to "dirty" Sofia, but in the same time in Italy you have some spirit, something that keeps you there (but not for long)
People seem to be happy although their language sounds like quarrel, for sure they know how to enjoy and take maximum from life - fashion, food, cars, even religion...details are so important :) And still we count it as Western Europe - but actually cultural shock can happen also, when you enter some of those tiny streets with all the garbage and clothes on windows of old buildings...

Rome - you cannot impress the people living here with some sight seeings, they have Vatican, churches in every corner (literally) - i never been to so many churches in one day...statues, fountains, columns, remains, big buildings, small buildings, Coliseum, tangerine trees on the street, thousands of motorbikes, very good and strong coffee...interesting

some funny things - during our tour we had one guy from Bolivia who made us crazy with his disappearing and strange way of behaving
on the first day we went to a bus without a ticket (advised by Italian people) and were charged on the first minute hahah, now I own to the municipality of Rome 104 euro...well as bad it can sound - I don't plan to pay them...:)

and that's it - it's good to be in Bulgaria, I realize it every time I come back from somewhere, maybe it's a comfort zone, who knows!

some thoughts about people

People are afraid of important decisions and what is even stranger - young people are afraid also! Where are those who are brave (and crazy:) enough to do something interesting and challenging?

Career, family, money - these are the issues of young people around me today - as if they need to prove something to someone...What is the difference between the 20 and 30 years-old? And what will happen if you don't and just see what life has there for you - it's worth trying I believe....

What will happen if I study economics in a good University and go to Azerbaijan on volunteer internship for 2 months...What will happen if I devote 1 year of my student's life to leadership position and test myself....What will happen if I put high goals and achieve them...if I am involved in everything around me, try to develop, take care of people around me...
Well, for sure nothing frightening ;)

I know that this may sound very "AIESEC" - I don't want to make anyone go on exchange because it is my strange idea to do so...I am just missing these people around me - people to be inspired from, people that have funny and crazy stories about their experiences, those who can surprise me! And I feel weird to think everyday how to make young people be actually young :P

If you know some of them - let me know!

2009 opening - updates + "It's up to you"

well 2009 came and I feel obliged somehow to write few lines - for my fans :D:D:D

recently i feel really happy with my life - even it's hard to find something to complain about :)
My cool relationship is getting even cooler everyday :)
i got back from Euro X meeting in Stockholm quite motivated and full of energy and ready to rock the house wohoo
Mamma mia - our beloved campaign surprisingly or not is bringing results :)
I have selected the best team for AIESEC BG for 09/10 - Mimi, Gasho, Helly, Petya and Milenka:)
i'm going for a ski weekend with my parents (party)

another thoughts - It's up to you
of course everyone heard about that concept, recently I was observing people around and I think we can outline 5 stages of it's evolution:

1. You hear about that and also some great stories for great men that achieved a lot and changed the world
2. You think you can be also like that ...
3. You already explain to other people about this cool ideology and mention it in conversations as something smart
4. You take some actions for your future and also responsibilities (so cool!)

and here is the breaking moment - most of the people stay here :)

5. Well, maybe it is more than just thinking and understanding it but also DOING something :) You don't complain about stupid politicians, systems, low salaries, high prices, unfair teachers and wicked colleagues that will get promoted faster than you, people not replying mails and keeping ddls...You just take the things as they are and act according your values and dreams, simple:) And it doesn't mean to be passive and not critical but add your solutions and ideas. If not - just don't complain!

At least that is my perception of things - it was kind of sad for me to see how many people just expect something to happen and their life is passing by
i know it's kind of cliche conclusions but what to do :)
it made me think how important is education in our life - can you imagine if the system is designed in this "It's up to you" style? I started again thinking that maybe i can become a teacher/lecturer some day - it is amazing way to influence many people in positive way....


and for good final one of my favourite songs "Rome wasn't built in a day" by Morcheeba - amazing sound:

applications, self-reflection, hakuna matata

I have several updates:)

just now I'm finishing last details of my application for President of AIESEC Bulgaria and sending it tomorrow morning...Eh big step, but I'm sure it is the right one!

During that writing I had great self-reflection (and meta-cognition haha whatever that means) and discovered many new things, I always liked that in AIESEC except from the rush we can stop and look around...nice feelings

and I have my new "philosophy" - maybe more like attitude to live - i was looking for name and one song from "Lion King" appeared in my playlist - Hakuna Matata... problem-free philosophy :) it helps a lot not taking problems deeply - you should try it!
and it does not mean you dont care about the things, you just not worry about small things that you will anyway forget soon

so that is from me as for now:)

airports and feelings

I don't know if you have a seen the movie "Love Actually" - it kind of sweet and fluffy and recently I remembered one quote from there - "if you want to see what is love go to the airport arrivals and you will see"

for the last 2 weeks it happened that I went to Sofia airport 2 times to meet AIESECers coming here and I felt that sentence indeed

I got so emotional just watching people meeting their friends, sons, daughters and so on...I felt that I'm meeting my friends or family and tears were coming to my eyes...
I couldn't believe it but it's like that
some things are so simple

if you need to see real and sincere feelings go to airport:)

I'm ok + ABBA :P

first to inform all worried people - I;m really ok! I'm not depressed or something, just crossroads are coming in life...

second - tonight we went with Rado, Ivo Dimov, Lili from UNWE and Maria (our Polish intern) to Mamma mia! - musical with ABBA songs, Meryl Streep and other cool actors
I was writing before about power of some songs on my energy...well this was amazing and so funny, go and see that movie - positive energy and good mood it's all about that :)

"thank you for the music ... thanks for all the joy they're bringing"

and another thing - I really start to feel good in Sofia, this city still is unknown for me but the new things I discover are cool - example drinking Zagorka in front of national theatre at midnight :) hehe

lost

i'm somehow lost...where I am now and where I will go? My life recently is really making me feel strange - I don't enjoy moments very much, even great things are "more or less whatever" (as we say in my team), i feel tired and skeptical about everything
it's not that I'm not happy - I'm doing really amazing and exciting job, I have love, started to like Sofia :P i've been to Brazil, everything seems to be fine but still sth is not ok....

and of course as usual with me - I'm thinking about the future every day, should I do the things that I need to do, or the things I always dreamed to, or they are the same thing? Am I too much in people's expectations...always thinking what they think about me...and also it's like i'm not so free - i need days for my loneliness:).....going crazy

I need somebody to talk to...I have an idea who is it, hope he will help...

Brazilian update

heh again long time without posting here, hm maybe it should be like that, who knows:)

here I'm coming with Brazilian update, sitting in a hostel in Sao Paulo in my last evening here in this amazing and interesting country

You know when working as exchanger I was always saying to people "you should challenge yourself, for example why not to go to Brazil or India:)" And now I faced that experience even that it is only for 2 weeks, and started to wonder if I'm ready to take such thing.

We visited Rio - amazing place, beaches with incredible views and you don't want to leave it...coco nuts for 2 R$, sand and sun and you don't need anything more...
Sugar loaf, Jesus Christ - from there you can see what is Rio - billions of lights, building,s, dancing people, music and enjoyment. At the same time the chance to be mugged is around 100%, whole families are sleeping on the street in front of fancy buildings...prices are like in Western Europe, there is traffic jam even in midnight...

then the conference itself in Sao Paulo - I will talk later about it separately:)
Sao Paulo - 17 million people city, somehow ugly and beautiful in the same time. It's the city of everything, the city where:
- air is so polluted that you can smell it
- natural fruit juice is on every corner for 2 R$:)
- apples are prepared with mayonnaise, strawberries with ham
- the number of gay couples is for sure above average for the world :P
- traffic is the same intensity in almost every hour of the day and night
- you can eat as much as you want in "self-service" restaurant for 9 R$ but one burger costs 8 R$...
- AIESEC has 4 LCs + MC office
- there are no homeless dogs
- rich cultural life
- there are no traffic lights for pedestrians
- it's very hard to find coffee
- has amazing big park with banana trees :)
- nobody speaks English, but they think you are fluent in Portuguese
- in the winter it is around 25 C in the day

Brazilian people - so different - white, black, Asian, european, small, big, clean, dirty - the diversity is shocking...Generally they are quite helpful and nice even though you don't understand what they say:)

For sure this trip made me to think a lot, and to be honest I'm not sure I want to come here for internship...But you can go, it's worth seeing it:)

EB beer and THANK YOU :)

this week we had this cool going out with Dancho and Petya - to see each other in the end of the term, to talk, to share, to gossip...It is really interesting how one year can change the people, at the same time we are the same but different...

Thank you very much for the wonderful time, hope we'll manage to do it again :)
I won't say final words for the term, cause it is not finished yet, and I am not in that mood (otherwise the post would've been little bit sad:)

take-over party... and THANK YOU

I cried for the first time for so many years on NatPlanCo during take-over party - Ivo, Steli and Milenski were speaking about the 0708 term and I just couldn't stop my tears...strange - as if my AIESEC XP is finishing, as it is my last year here... I know I have one more amazing year with bigger challenges and adventures...

this was the most beautiful time in my life - incredible, dynamic, crazy, with a lot of new wonderful people, love, inspiration, self-discovery, changes, challenges, failures, smiles, success and big proud in the end...how you cannot cry at this moment

I'm so sad you guys are leaving - will miss u so much, for sure without you that year wouldn't be the same - Ivo (for constant moral support and advice, jokes, sharing and trip in Istanbul:), Steli (for the lessons of professionalism and wonderful work together), Aga (for everything, conferences, long talks, parties, learnings), Milenski (for the great attitude, support and relaxing talks)
You just did a great thing!
THANK YOU

need to stop

"my home is my suitcase" - this was some thought from my CEED in Romania in 2006 :) I enjoyed so much traveling and moving, even 2 weeks on one place used to made me feel not good...
now I need to stop! I want to have schedule, to have time for my family, for my girlfriend, for my friends, to have time at home just watching TV or reading book
but I don't have home, or I don't have time, or I don't manage my time well, I don't know....
I have big plans for my life in Sofia - I will go to theater, cinema and concerts every week, have free evenings..:) but again in order to meet people I love I need to TRAVEL :D maybe it's some kind of learning, who knows

omg this is very random post :D :D :D

train Pernik-Sofia

well I promised to write about that so I do it!
it was amazing how such stupid situation can make me so angry and think of so many things...and having in mind that I travel every week with trains. In what country we live where people don't help an old man who is sick and falling on the ground from pain and nobody gives him place to sit? In what country it is possible to have people enough for 4 trains in 1 ?!?! India, China,...Bulgaria.... and it's traveling to the capital...
for this one hour I lost some of the inspiration and truth in the bright future I gained on Transition camp - sounds stupid but it is like that
enough about that train :)