applications, self-reflection, hakuna matata

I have several updates:)

just now I'm finishing last details of my application for President of AIESEC Bulgaria and sending it tomorrow morning...Eh big step, but I'm sure it is the right one!

During that writing I had great self-reflection (and meta-cognition haha whatever that means) and discovered many new things, I always liked that in AIESEC except from the rush we can stop and look around...nice feelings

and I have my new "philosophy" - maybe more like attitude to live - i was looking for name and one song from "Lion King" appeared in my playlist - Hakuna Matata... problem-free philosophy :) it helps a lot not taking problems deeply - you should try it!
and it does not mean you dont care about the things, you just not worry about small things that you will anyway forget soon

so that is from me as for now:)

airports and feelings

I don't know if you have a seen the movie "Love Actually" - it kind of sweet and fluffy and recently I remembered one quote from there - "if you want to see what is love go to the airport arrivals and you will see"

for the last 2 weeks it happened that I went to Sofia airport 2 times to meet AIESECers coming here and I felt that sentence indeed

I got so emotional just watching people meeting their friends, sons, daughters and so on...I felt that I'm meeting my friends or family and tears were coming to my eyes...
I couldn't believe it but it's like that
some things are so simple

if you need to see real and sincere feelings go to airport:)

I'm ok + ABBA :P

first to inform all worried people - I;m really ok! I'm not depressed or something, just crossroads are coming in life...

second - tonight we went with Rado, Ivo Dimov, Lili from UNWE and Maria (our Polish intern) to Mamma mia! - musical with ABBA songs, Meryl Streep and other cool actors
I was writing before about power of some songs on my energy...well this was amazing and so funny, go and see that movie - positive energy and good mood it's all about that :)

"thank you for the music ... thanks for all the joy they're bringing"

and another thing - I really start to feel good in Sofia, this city still is unknown for me but the new things I discover are cool - example drinking Zagorka in front of national theatre at midnight :) hehe

lost

i'm somehow lost...where I am now and where I will go? My life recently is really making me feel strange - I don't enjoy moments very much, even great things are "more or less whatever" (as we say in my team), i feel tired and skeptical about everything
it's not that I'm not happy - I'm doing really amazing and exciting job, I have love, started to like Sofia :P i've been to Brazil, everything seems to be fine but still sth is not ok....

and of course as usual with me - I'm thinking about the future every day, should I do the things that I need to do, or the things I always dreamed to, or they are the same thing? Am I too much in people's expectations...always thinking what they think about me...and also it's like i'm not so free - i need days for my loneliness:).....going crazy

I need somebody to talk to...I have an idea who is it, hope he will help...

Brazilian update

heh again long time without posting here, hm maybe it should be like that, who knows:)

here I'm coming with Brazilian update, sitting in a hostel in Sao Paulo in my last evening here in this amazing and interesting country

You know when working as exchanger I was always saying to people "you should challenge yourself, for example why not to go to Brazil or India:)" And now I faced that experience even that it is only for 2 weeks, and started to wonder if I'm ready to take such thing.

We visited Rio - amazing place, beaches with incredible views and you don't want to leave it...coco nuts for 2 R$, sand and sun and you don't need anything more...
Sugar loaf, Jesus Christ - from there you can see what is Rio - billions of lights, building,s, dancing people, music and enjoyment. At the same time the chance to be mugged is around 100%, whole families are sleeping on the street in front of fancy buildings...prices are like in Western Europe, there is traffic jam even in midnight...

then the conference itself in Sao Paulo - I will talk later about it separately:)
Sao Paulo - 17 million people city, somehow ugly and beautiful in the same time. It's the city of everything, the city where:
- air is so polluted that you can smell it
- natural fruit juice is on every corner for 2 R$:)
- apples are prepared with mayonnaise, strawberries with ham
- the number of gay couples is for sure above average for the world :P
- traffic is the same intensity in almost every hour of the day and night
- you can eat as much as you want in "self-service" restaurant for 9 R$ but one burger costs 8 R$...
- AIESEC has 4 LCs + MC office
- there are no homeless dogs
- rich cultural life
- there are no traffic lights for pedestrians
- it's very hard to find coffee
- has amazing big park with banana trees :)
- nobody speaks English, but they think you are fluent in Portuguese
- in the winter it is around 25 C in the day

Brazilian people - so different - white, black, Asian, european, small, big, clean, dirty - the diversity is shocking...Generally they are quite helpful and nice even though you don't understand what they say:)

For sure this trip made me to think a lot, and to be honest I'm not sure I want to come here for internship...But you can go, it's worth seeing it:)

EB beer and THANK YOU :)

this week we had this cool going out with Dancho and Petya - to see each other in the end of the term, to talk, to share, to gossip...It is really interesting how one year can change the people, at the same time we are the same but different...

Thank you very much for the wonderful time, hope we'll manage to do it again :)
I won't say final words for the term, cause it is not finished yet, and I am not in that mood (otherwise the post would've been little bit sad:)

take-over party... and THANK YOU

I cried for the first time for so many years on NatPlanCo during take-over party - Ivo, Steli and Milenski were speaking about the 0708 term and I just couldn't stop my tears...strange - as if my AIESEC XP is finishing, as it is my last year here... I know I have one more amazing year with bigger challenges and adventures...

this was the most beautiful time in my life - incredible, dynamic, crazy, with a lot of new wonderful people, love, inspiration, self-discovery, changes, challenges, failures, smiles, success and big proud in the end...how you cannot cry at this moment

I'm so sad you guys are leaving - will miss u so much, for sure without you that year wouldn't be the same - Ivo (for constant moral support and advice, jokes, sharing and trip in Istanbul:), Steli (for the lessons of professionalism and wonderful work together), Aga (for everything, conferences, long talks, parties, learnings), Milenski (for the great attitude, support and relaxing talks)
You just did a great thing!
THANK YOU

need to stop

"my home is my suitcase" - this was some thought from my CEED in Romania in 2006 :) I enjoyed so much traveling and moving, even 2 weeks on one place used to made me feel not good...
now I need to stop! I want to have schedule, to have time for my family, for my girlfriend, for my friends, to have time at home just watching TV or reading book
but I don't have home, or I don't have time, or I don't manage my time well, I don't know....
I have big plans for my life in Sofia - I will go to theater, cinema and concerts every week, have free evenings..:) but again in order to meet people I love I need to TRAVEL :D maybe it's some kind of learning, who knows

omg this is very random post :D :D :D

train Pernik-Sofia

well I promised to write about that so I do it!
it was amazing how such stupid situation can make me so angry and think of so many things...and having in mind that I travel every week with trains. In what country we live where people don't help an old man who is sick and falling on the ground from pain and nobody gives him place to sit? In what country it is possible to have people enough for 4 trains in 1 ?!?! India, China,...Bulgaria.... and it's traveling to the capital...
for this one hour I lost some of the inspiration and truth in the bright future I gained on Transition camp - sounds stupid but it is like that
enough about that train :)

memories of the crazy, risky Hong Kong girl :)

a normal day - i start my pc in the morning and what a surprise - Irene from Hong Kong is online...Remembered the time when she was in Svishtov - she was the first AIESEC trainee I saw:) when searching something in the folders I found this words from her in her last day in Bulgaria...wow! nice memories...time goes so fast!

To my Bulgarian friend,

I ‘m really glad to have my traineeship in Bulgaria. I never regret about it. You all are very nice, friendly, hospitality and helpful. I love all of you. I remember the first two weeks when I was here, I felt strange about the food, not because of the taste, I felt strange why the food is not served in hot. But now, I already got used to this “warm” food.

I remember you guys and your family asked me a lot of questions about Hong Kong, to be honest, I love answering all these questions.

You guys are really nice. I love you a lot. Some of you saw me cried a lot when I came back from Romania, especially Toni. I really love Bulgaria and Bulgarian. I cried because I ‘m really happy that I’ m here again. Though it s not my home, I love it.

I have been away home for 7 months and 2 weeks already, its time to be home, though only around 3 months in Bulgaria. I never forget what had happened on me here, never forget my friend here, never forget “Kashmir” and “Nedelya”, never forget my simple Bulgarian, like “dadada”, “nenene”, “chakai chakai”, “kakvo”.

I hope all of you all the best. You are not allowed to forget me, such a crazy, risky Hong Kong gal. I really hope you guys can come to Hong Kong someday in the future, so we can have “rakia” and “shopska” again.

Love,
Irene

P.S. If you come, bring me a “kompot” and “rakia”. Hahahahahaha