Anton's blog

people

2010-11-01T21:10:00.000-07:00

Relationships with others take such a huge part of our lives, we spent so much energy, thoughts and attention on that, but if you think there is no place to learn how to do it properly...Even the best Universities don't offer programs in "building sustainable friendships", "being a good father" or "maintaining good family atmosphere"...Isnt that a paradox, such an important thing, and nobody actually knows how to do it right :) I guess that's the point - on the way we learn something from here and there, have fun and try to be better.
Now, I have much more free time and it gave me chance to observe a lot - my friends, people on the streets, colleagues in office. Especially when you dont understand everything of the language sometimes the only thing left is to observe - body language, reactions, intonation, etc - it's just precious. But I have the feeling people are kind of lost in so many situations, if they could go back they could've said/done something different...
Colombia is for sure the country of strong relationships, family and friends. People here value this the most, they prefer to do things together, their love is strong, as well as suffering...Not much in the middle...that amazed me a lot, and I really liked it. I understand much more this beautiful culture! Maybe that would be the place to learn about people, real people who dont always hurry, but just live their lives...

back to blogging

2010-08-26T20:48:00.000-07:00

back again, long breaks from blogging give me some inspiration to write :)
now I am having amazingly interesting moment in my life - I left the active and dynamic life of President of AIESEC Bulgaria and went to one amazing country on the other side of the Atlantic ocean - Colombia! Another exchange plus leadership, some kind of duty, crazy step, dream, needed break - it is some of all these...
Now i have a lot of free time, to think, reflect and think again, and again about life, experiences I had, and the things I want to achieve - sometimes I feel living more in the future (or in the past) than in the present. I;ve always perceived the present as some step, something that needs to pass, to be overcome, to go to the next stage, and then all over again...have you ever felt in that way? (that btw is so much contradictory to the culture here that brings me some of the biggest cultural shocks:)

I really enjoy my internship, but the greatest part of my mind is taken by that question - WHAT'S NEXT? Should I decide now (i have already several options) or just let it go and see what life will bring, am I already too old for adventures and ready for planned life or still in those years that you can try unrelated /not career experiences???...I dont know:)

My Russia

2009-11-03T12:43:00.000-08:00

My Russia - yes it is my second home country! Maybe it's late to realize some things in the age of 23 - but now I had this strong feeling that this country is so important for me - the people, culture,language, food, weather...

I was invited to chair a conference in Ufa - a city that I didn't know almost anything except the name :) Russia is so big and diverse - i didnt realize that - you can travel for 30 hours with train to get in the nearest big city, there are different republics with their religion, culture, language :)

Well, now I can say Ufa is an amazing place - mainly cause of the people living here, you can feel great warmth, hospitality and honesty in them...I always believed all people are generally good - in Ufa I could feel it really all the time... living in big city and working for MC makes you sometimes too hard, too demanding and little bit impersonal - hm, maybe it's normal but why we don't just live nice, why surroundings change people...i don't want to live like that my whole life...:) Whatever...
The interesting point was that while being so nice, friendly and somehow naive AIESECers here work very hard, make things happen and don't complain...it was so motivating for me! Chairing was very inspiring experience - being just me and people liked it - they don't criticize or judge, just enjoy and have fun :) Working with faci team - one of the best teams I worked with - simple, powerful, warm, professional, deep, funny and emotional people...thank you Diana, Alfiya, Gulnara, Petya, Delya, Pasha, Lena, Ira, Victor, Manana, Regina, Yulia, Liza and Masha! Thanks also to Danil - the OCP of the conference - one guy that impressed me with his inner strength and potential!

Speaking Russian - another challenge for me - in the end even i facilitated sessions in Russian with my bulgarian accent, I so much want to stay here more and speak fluently...have you ever had the feeling that speaking another language makes you stronger and smarter? :)

the FOOD - without any doubt I can say for me this is the country with the best food in the world! I got used to drink tea every 2 hours and didnt have coffee for almost 5 days:)

I also visited my lovely aunt in Moscow - a crazy and not-normal place to live according to me:) so many people, lost identity, modern and old in the same time, traditional and extreme, rich and poor - so many contrasts - as whole Russia btw:) Standing on the Red Square and walking in Kremlin is an experience you should try - there you feel how great and powerful is this country with all its contradictions!

This trip was more personal than professional - made me think a lot about my life, future plans, what I like, etc. One is for sure - I want to come back and live here for 1-2 years - i want to explore more and more Russia...it's much more deep than you think...

here is a song that i use for self-reflection:

good things

2009-09-15T13:42:00.000-07:00

it is very hard to summarize the last months in some smart sentence or light-motive :) for sure it was one of the most interesting and challenging times in my life...total responsibility, many new people and more people, their emotions, feelings, irrational, cool, motivating, problems, travelling, perspectives, compromise, strong love, success and confidence - maybe those are some of the words to describe my feelings recently.

One thing is for sure - - I don't know if you had those times when you feel perfectly ok with yourself :P well I am like that now...you know when you see yourself in the mirror and say "yeah, that's a cool guy" :) don't laugh, it's not too much confidence, just feeling happy with what you are...

and one more conclusion - I realized how POWERFUL and amazing is AIESEC, whatever you say - it is simply the biggest, the coolest and the most valuable organization in the world...I can put many arguments for that if you ask me :) yeah many fuck-ups happen, many challenges to overcome, but when you look from my perspective of 4 years I see only great things, things to remember!

and finally one great remix of one great song - Do you think radio will disappear? I hope not :)

nice song :)

2009-07-14T14:54:00.000-07:00

here is a cool song I like very much recently:

comfort zones

2009-05-10T16:19:00.000-07:00

people in our country emigrate to more developed countries because there will be their comfort zone - security, more money, etc.

people stay in Bulgaria and go abroad to try something interesting cause here is their comfort zone, even if they don't like the work, the garbage, the politicians, etc

people don't leave their girlfriend/boyfriend cause it has been long with her/him and is comfort zone - although they dont love each other and quarrel all the time...

people prefer to donate money by sending sms, rather than go and help the homeless/blind children. Cause it is comfortable to sit in your chair and send sms

people prefer to watch others' lives on TV rather than having their own. Cause it is comfortable to sit in your chair

people don't call companies to sell cause it is taking them out of their comfort zone

students prefer to "have a lot to study" and in the same time spending the exam session time doing nothing. Cause it is easier than to do something useful

people like to complain that there is no agenda prepared for a meeting, rather than propose how to have effective meeting - cause it is more comfortable to complain and blame rather than have ideas

we prefer to send somebody message on Facebook rather go and see the person and talk...cause it is our comfort zone to be online 7/24

we never go to our professors in Uni and propose to them how to improve - they will never listen to us, cause both sides will need to go out of their comfort

we give feedback only when the issue is concerning us directly, rarely only with the purpose to contribute to the development of somebody

i am writing in my blog now cause it makes me feel comfortable :)

slef-reflection

2009-04-30T14:11:00.000-07:00

i was sitting long before writing something, i knew i want to write...but what? then i decided to put all things i have on my mind

I discovered how many things I missed during my active years in @ - discos, random days, movies, walks, reading novels, weekends, sleeping till lunch. Bad time management or just right prioritization, maybe I didnt need those....
---
also I think a lot what I will do in my life - well, I have time to find out...I worry that instead of thinking about my year as MCP I think about my internship after that. I need some thrilling and challenging, crazy internship...Maybe I know that this year will go in good way, I already know what is MC life, that's why I dont worry... My new team is so cool and energizing me all the time - thank you girls and Gasho:) New EBs are also just amazing - never felt such enjoyment and care on AIESEC conference as on PlanCo! We have ambitious plans...Everything is in place for the greatest term in history :) but still when I have time for self-reflection I think mostly about the time after it...maybe because this is the unclear thing and need to be thought about...
---
I was assessing myself and started to answer if I'm that kind of person that follows a goal whatever it takes, or just somebody who is highly responsible....there is difference...it seems sometimes I give up easy, or not :) what is needed from me?
---
and I realized how important is family - my parents are the biggest support and example for me - I cannot imagine how I would do the things I do and I like without their support, also the attitude and values they teach me! I am proud of my parents!
---
i am sure all stuff i do makes sense cause one day being 50 i will not regret, cause they are good for people, they change something, that is enough :)
---
next time i will share about my idea for my own University :)

random - song, doubts, sarcasm, train, old classmates

2009-03-22T15:38:00.000-07:00

let's start with one cool song i found out in my playlist - Rossana - A fuego lento

I have strange feeling recently that I know exactly what I need to do, how to communicate my ideas, what to do with people around me - everything I know...but i don't do it, like i dont have energy for all this
I feel somehow guilty about it, seems i need some self-ass-kicking exercise or something like that...

And one question for homework - do you think that being sarcastic shows that you have some complexes, or sometimes it can be just feature of your character?

Last week I went to Svishtov with the night train - something I haven't done for 2 years. It is very cool 8 hours trip, I was reading "The 7 habits" again and felt amazing, i recommend traveling with train alone, sometimes it gives you interesting insight on life.

I also have been to Plovdiv and met my classmates from the 1-7 class...we graduated in 2000 (9 years ago..) and still some of these people I feel very close to me, some of my best friends - although we meet once in 6 months, and do not write often - still we have so many things to talk about, you know you can rely on them

Finally - I am already 23, sounds awful but what to do, life is life :P
one small thing made me smile on my birthday - one girl I recruited in AIESEC who went on internship called me from abroad and wished me all the good things, but also I felt she is somehow thankful for what I was doing...she is calling me on each holiday. that's why I love working with people - they are thankful and you see the point!

Italian thoughts

2009-03-09T14:47:00.001-07:00

well here I'm eating original pizza in Napoli :) the people there claim that it started in their town and don't admit any other than Napolitan pizza :)(btw they hate PizzaHut) it was good, very very good indeed. We were walking in the rain for more than hour looking for a nice place to eat this...in one moment I thought that in Sofia you're more likely to find pizza place than in Napoli but then...(You may ask if we came here only for the pizza - well after seeing Napoli, it is for sure the best thing!)
by chance we found a beautiful small traditional restaurant - just like in the books, covers on checks, smiley Italians, wine, noise...everything is perfect...

Italy makes you feel confused whether you like it or no...I was so happy to come back to "dirty" Sofia, but in the same time in Italy you have some spirit, something that keeps you there (but not for long)
People seem to be happy although their language sounds like quarrel, for sure they know how to enjoy and take maximum from life - fashion, food, cars, even religion...details are so important :) And still we count it as Western Europe - but actually cultural shock can happen also, when you enter some of those tiny streets with all the garbage and clothes on windows of old buildings...

Rome - you cannot impress the people living here with some sight seeings, they have Vatican, churches in every corner (literally) - i never been to so many churches in one day...statues, fountains, columns, remains, big buildings, small buildings, Coliseum, tangerine trees on the street, thousands of motorbikes, very good and strong coffee...interesting

some funny things - during our tour we had one guy from Bolivia who made us crazy with his disappearing and strange way of behaving
on the first day we went to a bus without a ticket (advised by Italian people) and were charged on the first minute hahah, now I own to the municipality of Rome 104 euro...well as bad it can sound - I don't plan to pay them...:)

and that's it - it's good to be in Bulgaria, I realize it every time I come back from somewhere, maybe it's a comfort zone, who knows!

some thoughts about people

2009-01-26T15:03:00.000-08:00

People are afraid of important decisions and what is even stranger - young people are afraid also! Where are those who are brave (and crazy:) enough to do something interesting and challenging?

Career, family, money - these are the issues of young people around me today - as if they need to prove something to someone...What is the difference between the 20 and 30 years-old? And what will happen if you don't and just see what life has there for you - it's worth trying I believe....

What will happen if I study economics in a good University and go to Azerbaijan on volunteer internship for 2 months...What will happen if I devote 1 year of my student's life to leadership position and test myself....What will happen if I put high goals and achieve them...if I am involved in everything around me, try to develop, take care of people around me...
Well, for sure nothing frightening ;)

I know that this may sound very "AIESEC" - I don't want to make anyone go on exchange because it is my strange idea to do so...I am just missing these people around me - people to be inspired from, people that have funny and crazy stories about their experiences, those who can surprise me! And I feel weird to think everyday how to make young people be actually young :P

If you know some of them - let me know!

2009 opening - updates + "It's up to you"

2009-01-19T13:26:00.000-08:00

well 2009 came and I feel obliged somehow to write few lines - for my fans :D:D:D

recently i feel really happy with my life - even it's hard to find something to complain about :)
My cool relationship is getting even cooler everyday :)
i got back from Euro X meeting in Stockholm quite motivated and full of energy and ready to rock the house wohoo
Mamma mia - our beloved campaign surprisingly or not is bringing results :)
I have selected the best team for AIESEC BG for 09/10 - Mimi, Gasho, Helly, Petya and Milenka:)
i'm going for a ski weekend with my parents (party)

another thoughts - It's up to you
of course everyone heard about that concept, recently I was observing people around and I think we can outline 5 stages of it's evolution:

1. You hear about that and also some great stories for great men that achieved a lot and changed the world
2. You think you can be also like that ...
3. You already explain to other people about this cool ideology and mention it in conversations as something smart
4. You take some actions for your future and also responsibilities (so cool!)

and here is the breaking moment - most of the people stay here :)

5. Well, maybe it is more than just thinking and understanding it but also DOING something :) You don't complain about stupid politicians, systems, low salaries, high prices, unfair teachers and wicked colleagues that will get promoted faster than you, people not replying mails and keeping ddls...You just take the things as they are and act according your values and dreams, simple:) And it doesn't mean to be passive and not critical but add your solutions and ideas. If not - just don't complain!

At least that is my perception of things - it was kind of sad for me to see how many people just expect something to happen and their life is passing by
i know it's kind of cliche conclusions but what to do :)
it made me think how important is education in our life - can you imagine if the system is designed in this "It's up to you" style? I started again thinking that maybe i can become a teacher/lecturer some day - it is amazing way to influence many people in positive way....

and for good final one of my favourite songs "Rome wasn't built in a day" by Morcheeba - amazing sound:

applications, self-reflection, hakuna matata

2008-11-27T16:54:00.000-08:00

I have several updates:)

just now I'm finishing last details of my application for President of AIESEC Bulgaria and sending it tomorrow morning...Eh big step, but I'm sure it is the right one!

During that writing I had great self-reflection (and meta-cognition haha whatever that means) and discovered many new things, I always liked that in AIESEC except from the rush we can stop and look around...nice feelings

and I have my new "philosophy" - maybe more like attitude to live - i was looking for name and one song from "Lion King" appeared in my playlist - Hakuna Matata... problem-free philosophy :) it helps a lot not taking problems deeply - you should try it!
and it does not mean you dont care about the things, you just not worry about small things that you will anyway forget soon

so that is from me as for now:)

airports and feelings

2008-10-23T14:58:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you have a seen the movie "Love Actually" - it kind of sweet and fluffy and recently I remembered one quote from there - "if you want to see what is love go to the airport arrivals and you will see"

for the last 2 weeks it happened that I went to Sofia airport 2 times to meet AIESECers coming here and I felt that sentence indeed

I got so emotional just watching people meeting their friends, sons, daughters and so on...I felt that I'm meeting my friends or family and tears were coming to my eyes...
I couldn't believe it but it's like that
some things are so simple

if you need to see real and sincere feelings go to airport:)

I'm ok + ABBA :P

2008-10-03T15:29:00.000-07:00

first to inform all worried people - I;m really ok! I'm not depressed or something, just crossroads are coming in life...

second - tonight we went with Rado, Ivo Dimov, Lili from UNWE and Maria (our Polish intern) to Mamma mia! - musical with ABBA songs, Meryl Streep and other cool actors
I was writing before about power of some songs on my energy...well this was amazing and so funny, go and see that movie - positive energy and good mood it's all about that :)

"thank you for the music ... thanks for all the joy they're bringing"

and another thing - I really start to feel good in Sofia, this city still is unknown for me but the new things I discover are cool - example drinking Zagorka in front of national theatre at midnight :) hehe

lost

2008-09-22T16:02:00.000-07:00

i'm somehow lost...where I am now and where I will go? My life recently is really making me feel strange - I don't enjoy moments very much, even great things are "more or less whatever" (as we say in my team), i feel tired and skeptical about everything
it's not that I'm not happy - I'm doing really amazing and exciting job, I have love, started to like Sofia :P i've been to Brazil, everything seems to be fine but still sth is not ok....

and of course as usual with me - I'm thinking about the future every day, should I do the things that I need to do, or the things I always dreamed to, or they are the same thing? Am I too much in people's expectations...always thinking what they think about me...and also it's like i'm not so free - i need days for my loneliness:).....going crazy

I need somebody to talk to...I have an idea who is it, hope he will help...

Brazilian update

2008-09-01T19:47:00.000-07:00

heh again long time without posting here, hm maybe it should be like that, who knows:)

here I'm coming with Brazilian update, sitting in a hostel in Sao Paulo in my last evening here in this amazing and interesting country

You know when working as exchanger I was always saying to people "you should challenge yourself, for example why not to go to Brazil or India:)" And now I faced that experience even that it is only for 2 weeks, and started to wonder if I'm ready to take such thing.

We visited Rio - amazing place, beaches with incredible views and you don't want to leave it...coco nuts for 2 R$, sand and sun and you don't need anything more...
Sugar loaf, Jesus Christ - from there you can see what is Rio - billions of lights, building,s, dancing people, music and enjoyment. At the same time the chance to be mugged is around 100%, whole families are sleeping on the street in front of fancy buildings...prices are like in Western Europe, there is traffic jam even in midnight...

then the conference itself in Sao Paulo - I will talk later about it separately:)
Sao Paulo - 17 million people city, somehow ugly and beautiful in the same time. It's the city of everything, the city where:
- air is so polluted that you can smell it
- natural fruit juice is on every corner for 2 R$:)
- apples are prepared with mayonnaise, strawberries with ham
- the number of gay couples is for sure above average for the world :P
- traffic is the same intensity in almost every hour of the day and night
- you can eat as much as you want in "self-service" restaurant for 9 R$ but one burger costs 8 R$...
- AIESEC has 4 LCs + MC office
- there are no homeless dogs
- rich cultural life
- there are no traffic lights for pedestrians
- it's very hard to find coffee
- has amazing big park with banana trees :)
- nobody speaks English, but they think you are fluent in Portuguese
- in the winter it is around 25 C in the day

Brazilian people - so different - white, black, Asian, european, small, big, clean, dirty - the diversity is shocking...Generally they are quite helpful and nice even though you don't understand what they say:)

For sure this trip made me to think a lot, and to be honest I'm not sure I want to come here for internship...But you can go, it's worth seeing it:)

EB beer and THANK YOU :)

2008-05-17T10:18:00.000-07:00

this week we had this cool going out with Dancho and Petya - to see each other in the end of the term, to talk, to share, to gossip...It is really interesting how one year can change the people, at the same time we are the same but different...

Thank you very much for the wonderful time, hope we'll manage to do it again :)
I won't say final words for the term, cause it is not finished yet, and I am not in that mood (otherwise the post would've been little bit sad:)

take-over party... and THANK YOU

2008-05-08T13:46:00.000-07:00

I cried for the first time for so many years on NatPlanCo during take-over party - Ivo, Steli and Milenski were speaking about the 0708 term and I just couldn't stop my tears...strange - as if my AIESEC XP is finishing, as it is my last year here... I know I have one more amazing year with bigger challenges and adventures...

this was the most beautiful time in my life - incredible, dynamic, crazy, with a lot of new wonderful people, love, inspiration, self-discovery, changes, challenges, failures, smiles, success and big proud in the end...how you cannot cry at this moment

I'm so sad you guys are leaving - will miss u so much, for sure without you that year wouldn't be the same - Ivo (for constant moral support and advice, jokes, sharing and trip in Istanbul:), Steli (for the lessons of professionalism and wonderful work together), Aga (for everything, conferences, long talks, parties, learnings), Milenski (for the great attitude, support and relaxing talks)
You just did a great thing!
THANK YOU

need to stop

2008-04-10T15:11:00.000-07:00

"my home is my suitcase" - this was some thought from my CEED in Romania in 2006 :) I enjoyed so much traveling and moving, even 2 weeks on one place used to made me feel not good...
now I need to stop! I want to have schedule, to have time for my family, for my girlfriend, for my friends, to have time at home just watching TV or reading book
but I don't have home, or I don't have time, or I don't manage my time well, I don't know....
I have big plans for my life in Sofia - I will go to theater, cinema and concerts every week, have free evenings..:) but again in order to meet people I love I need to TRAVEL :D maybe it's some kind of learning, who knows

omg this is very random post :D :D :D

train Pernik-Sofia

2008-04-10T15:04:00.000-07:00

well I promised to write about that so I do it!
it was amazing how such stupid situation can make me so angry and think of so many things...and having in mind that I travel every week with trains. In what country we live where people don't help an old man who is sick and falling on the ground from pain and nobody gives him place to sit? In what country it is possible to have people enough for 4 trains in 1 ?!?! India, China,...Bulgaria.... and it's traveling to the capital...
for this one hour I lost some of the inspiration and truth in the bright future I gained on Transition camp - sounds stupid but it is like that
enough about that train :)

memories of the crazy, risky Hong Kong girl :)

2008-02-05T15:03:00.000-08:00

a normal day - i start my pc in the morning and what a surprise - Irene from Hong Kong is online...Remembered the time when she was in Svishtov - she was the first AIESEC trainee I saw:) when searching something in the folders I found this words from her in her last day in Bulgaria...wow! nice memories...time goes so fast!

To my Bulgarian friend,

I ‘m really glad to have my traineeship in Bulgaria. I never regret about it. You all are very nice, friendly, hospitality and helpful. I love all of you. I remember the first two weeks when I was here, I felt strange about the food, not because of the taste, I felt strange why the food is not served in hot. But now, I already got used to this “warm” food.

I remember you guys and your family asked me a lot of questions about Hong Kong, to be honest, I love answering all these questions.

You guys are really nice. I love you a lot. Some of you saw me cried a lot when I came back from Romania, especially Toni. I really love Bulgaria and Bulgarian. I cried because I ‘m really happy that I’ m here again. Though it s not my home, I love it.

I have been away home for 7 months and 2 weeks already, its time to be home, though only around 3 months in Bulgaria. I never forget what had happened on me here, never forget my friend here, never forget “Kashmir” and “Nedelya”, never forget my simple Bulgarian, like “dadada”, “nenene”, “chakai chakai”, “kakvo”.

I hope all of you all the best. You are not allowed to forget me, such a crazy, risky Hong Kong gal. I really hope you guys can come to Hong Kong someday in the future, so we can have “rakia” and “shopska” again.

Love,
Irene

P.S. If you come, bring me a “kompot” and “rakia”. Hahahahahaha

the most interesting time of the year

2007-12-20T06:25:00.000-08:00

today is my last day in Svishtov for this year - i'm in my room drinking coffee and finishing my things...decided to write about things that happened recently now - it's better to do it when i'm in good mood:)

weeks after ACT were really crazy - so many emotions, tons of work, little sleep, problems...
after the moments i was down the real challenges and fun came - i went on a lot of company meetings with newies, we organized a conference (it's funny how relaxed everyone was till the last moment:) at that time i felt once again how cool is to be LCP! going back i'd never changed my decision!
then applications for MC came - so many doubts, energy and sleepless nights to fill it in the best way...so many dreams of how it'll look like...one amazing year in Sofia... Cool ppl applied - that motivated me more...even cooler ppl supported me by writing an endorsement (it's so nice to read good things about you)or just said "Good luck"
then time for conference came - crazy three days of preparation...not sleeping, great challenges with communication:)
somewhere here another challenge appeared - a really cool one - these stolen moments with you saved me of nervous breakdown:) thank you...
the conference was cool - great idea - great chair - great faci team - happy realizations for me and my team:) hope now we'll make them come true!
and presentations and Q&A came - expected to be harder, speech prepared during brakes and lunches on the conferences, positive feedback after that -> cool feeling
but...i said things ppl didn't like to hear - amazing change in attitude towards me...i still cannot understand how ppl can have so wrong idea of themselves...taking things personally as always (thought it changed somehow)
then long useless talks and gossiping - the most unprofessional way of doing decision
Felt really proud of my EB team - they showed attitude and behaved as real AIESECers!
parties where leaders of the organization sit outside, smoking and drinking beer like pensioners...facis in their room...i cannot understand this - as we don't enjoy being in AIESEC...
OC team - most of them newies disappointed of the EBs of AIESEC in Bulgaria and i don't know what to say...
last morning i realized what's going to happen...felt awful...the only ppl i could talk was my EB and some members of MC...strange behavior of others...smiling as if they apologize for sth:)
hm...then GA on Monday - one of the moments i was ashamed i'm in AIESEC (happy there were no externals)
what i expected happened...no surprise...tons of emotions...lots of ppl shaking my hand and telling stupid things, saying "sorry" (for what!?!)
then GA continues and 3 LCs sit on the back rows and nobody ask them what is their opinion...AIESEC in Bulgaria took several strategic decisions without even asking 3 LCs - we elected MCP, voted MC members, elected controller (from the second try:), changed the internal rules (according to what is suitable for certain LCs), elected BoA...at this moment i felt like part of the furnitures in the room not like the leader of one of the LCs...wanted to go out and never come back to this place...but stayed
then decided to ask for feedback from those who didn't supported me - no comment
after this - nice coffee with Steli, Ilio, Blago and Yassar
then travel back to Svishtov, self-reflection and really nice evening...
now i'm asking myself what i did wrong, what could've been changed...still emotions are strong and cannot be objective...on one hand i'm sure i was right and not going to change my opinion...on the other hand - maybe i was too hard, i didn't make enough effort to explain my point of view, wasn't diplomatic...
don't know - time will show
now i have really cool time with my challenge:) and with the decision for the future - it's so inspiring to know that there are so many opportunities!
last i want to thank ppl who helped me a lot these weeks - Yana, Ilio, Petya, Dancho, Mimi, Nely, Sevi, Steli, Blago, Emo, Eli, Aga, Bobi, Vyara, Adas, Masha, Agus, Malina, Yassar, Iva and Michal.

10 days to decide about future - isn't it cool:)

happy?

2007-12-03T13:12:00.000-08:00

I asked myself this question just right now when a classmate asked me in skype how are you? And although today I feel exhausted and a lot of problems occurred I wrote just "I feel great, really happy!" and it was true:)
heh strange thing - still miss so many things I need but overall I feel happy with my life!

wall of commitments

2007-11-26T01:37:00.000-08:00

oranges

2007-11-24T13:58:00.000-08:00

just wanted to share how much I love oranges - their colour, taste, remind me Christmas and good things:)

wanna be somewhere else

2007-11-21T13:23:00.000-08:00

after the conference I have this strange feeling - want to be somewhere else...
first i thought it's due to excitement around ACT - it's every time like that after AIESEC conference. But now 3 days passed and I'm still not feeling comfortable...
I cannot concentrate on my everyday things, all my thoughts are in future (or in ACT)
Thinking of MC, of one year in Sofia, challenging myself...searching for new things, new people
but still - what I do now is the most important and there is no sense going further if your current path is not good
or it's up to me to make it good
I don't know - confusion time
and I was just reading blogs - when someone was so influenced by me I feel strange, confused, great, guilty - so many things
...

what have you done today to make you feel proud

2007-11-19T16:31:00.000-08:00

recently I found this great song of Heather Small - putting in the list several time every evening...It somehow appeals to me very much - to my thoughts and feelings...

I look into the window of my mind
Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind
I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can't stop me now
And you can do the same

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom

Still so many answers I don't know
Realize that to question is how we grow
So I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can't stop me now
And you can do the same

It's never too late to try
You could be so many people
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

We need a change
Do it today
I can feel my spirit rising
We need a change
So do it today
'Cause I can see a clear horizon

ACT

2007-11-19T14:02:00.000-08:00

it would be strange not to write about ACT 2007 - the most amazing conference I've been so far! Although it's two days passed I'm still confused - why it's so hard to back to reality - responsibilities in AIESEC, studies...most of my thoughts are still there...

people I met there motivated me so much - I think I totally changed my concept (see previous posts here:) The international faci team and our beloved chair - really cool people every one different, funny and last but not least - AChiever! It was great to work with you! Maybe for first time I realized the cultural diversity - we were from different countries but still understanding each other (even sometimes without English). I feel proud be part of the team created this conference!
When I remember the funny and great moments I wish to be back to Sofia and be with you again! Lazy bastardinos looking for that prolongatore :))))
Our great team - Jagoda, Zo, Aga, Milojko, Ashad, Dobrila, Iva, Tokrotka and Stanojka!

stop worrying and some update

2007-11-05T14:07:00.000-08:00

is there something that can surprise me? for some time I think I become a "nepukist" - it's good not to worry too much about everything:) or I need some new excitement in life? maybe love...

LIST passed - amazing XP, but surprisingly easy for me personally...I can re-think my concept that people cannot motivate me so much - great new ideas and inspiration from the new members, from Aga, from Mitko, from my EB, OCPs...Thank you all!

Now the future for my LC seems better, much better:) And it's time to think about my future...Going back home and not having internet I read sugars from the seminar, and then remembering one post from a friend decided to look at all the sugars I have - wow how many conferences, memories... Some conferences with only one or two sugars, others with many of them. Is it necessary to be popular on an AIESEC conference? Or this shows me my development? What is development in AIESEC? After all we live also non-AIESEC life during this time - it can also develop you somehow...What can be my contribution to the success of the organization in future? Am I result oriented or I prefer to think so?

How to know this without trying? So I'll try!

energy

2007-10-28T15:03:00.000-07:00

i wonder how easy i can loose it and soon after this to get it back...sometimes i just need to hear cool song and ready to work till late. in moments that i'm totally tired of everything only music can help:) or something else? for sure it's not people that make me energetic - sounds strange but true. still searching for what makes me tick...

strange weekend

2007-10-21T14:49:00.000-07:00

it started with travel to Sofia. Great discussion about life and AIESEC with Dancho in the bus...although it was so cold (I'm wondering why do you pay 13 lv for bus if it's cold)
Coffee and chocolate for breakfast in the MC office - every time I come here I find it very nice to work in such an office :P
Then the GA starts - with delay as usual (why is it usual for some ppl to be late???). From the very beginning it looked random - didn't give an opportunity to Aga to be part of the discussions, searching for compromise even if it's not needed, not prepared people with high self-confidence, people not willing to talk about arguments, so cold that your mind is freezing...At the end - decision that I don't support, but I didn't do almost anything to change it, I was too disappointed...
In the evening - almost planned dinner with Ivo and Nasko to talk about future plans - something nice for the day:)
Then meeting my parents who came to Sofia to meet their mates from University they haven't met for 20 years...strange. But I'm happy I talked with my parents and had some hours without AIESEC
On the morning I feel so energetic that I cant believe...The way back to Svishtov (again cold bus) was time for self-reflection, thinking about strategic development of my LC - I like traveling alone!
EB meeting, GM, rearranging the office, calling candidates, first meal for the day at 23.30....
Just now I received a mail from a friend, very interesting indeed - I need some time to realize what she is advising me...

my days

2007-10-10T14:35:00.000-07:00

recently my days looks like this:
get up around 8.30 (almost every time later:P)
go to the office at 10, standing on the info-desk (I didn't expect this will be so energizing, at the end I didn't want to go)
meetings with my EB and OCPs, with the Dean, with Uni newspaper
missing lunch :(
going to some boooring lectures (I start to think if there is anything useful there and whether not to make sth next year)
having dinner :)
go back home and sitting on the pc till late
almost every evening planning to go to disco but still haven't do this...

uncertainty

2007-10-05T14:15:00.000-07:00

it's strange that in moments I'm really busy and my life is intense I start to analyze myself...These days I'm questioning myself a lot.

Am I capable of contributing to the success? Is this the right place for me? Is it enough to put your passion and energy or something else is needed? I miss the feedback...

2007-10-05T10:09:00.000-07:00

say "no"

2007-09-15T13:24:00.000-07:00

It's hard to say "no" even if you know it's the right way...You don't want to offend or to have quarrel with someone. But it's needed! Especially in your work, when you have concrete vision and goals. Every single action on your way towards the goal must be committed to it. Otherwise why are you doing this? To make someone happy? Success doesn't always mean everyone is happy...

Good realization but can I do it?

is it bad to be alone?

2007-09-15T12:48:00.000-07:00

It's Saturday evening and I'm alone at home sitting in front of the pc. In the morning I promised to myself only to check the mail for 5 minutes and spend the day in non-AIESEC activities. Almost did it...
But that's not the point. Sometimes I feel really great when I'm alone - I don't miss anyone... Strange may it be but recently it happens often.
Last night I met some classmates from high-school. Hard experience:P At some moments I didn't know what to talk with these people. It's stupid thing, but I really felt like this. I'd prefer to stay at home rather than go to "kruchma" with old classmates. Anyway it was good to see some people...

2007-09-13T06:46:00.000-07:00

In Istanbul

IC Pictures - 3

2007-09-08T08:46:00.000-07:00

IC Pictures - 2

2007-09-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

IC Pictures

2007-09-08T04:42:00.000-07:00

2007-08-26T16:36:00.000-07:00

3 PAIs

Me and Andi (LCP of Brasov, Romania)

Cooperation Bulgaria-Serbia

Here are some more pictures from IC - I promise to write more but tonight I'm really tired:)

IC '07 Turkey - part four

2007-08-23T16:26:00.000-07:00

PAI 07/08 Gabitza with part of the BG delegation

Geri, Aga and me:)

The past two days of the congress just amazed me! I has always been thinking that on IC there are presented complex and hard to understand strategies. It's not like this:) It was surprising and in the same time impressive for me the simple words that Gabitza used to mark the AIESEC way and to present the AI 07/08 Scoreboard... I thought - maybe great things are really simple and that's why we don't see them...

IC '07 Turkey - part three

2007-08-21T13:52:00.000-07:00

So - it seems that blogging is not an impossible thing for me:)
The fourth day of IC was actually its first day - opening plenary, amazing Global Village and Official Ceremony.
In the morning all our efforts on creating the Bulgarian roll call seemed to be not waste of time. We did great on the last rehearsal and on the opening plenary despite the challenges with the sound system (yes, that happens even on IC:)
We continued presenting Bulgaria on the GV - amazing event - 100 countries with their traditional food, drinks, music and culture! Here I felt what diversity is!
Finally, we attended official ceremony - a lot of guests, alumni, partners - it's really amazing how our global partners value relationship with AIESEC. One of the highest managers from HP, Alcatel, Electrolux, InBev and many others are here to be with us.

The Chair - Pedros Santos, PAI 03/04

IC '07 Turkey - part two

2007-08-20T05:55:00.000-07:00

Hey again,

Today I was thinking how we understand AIESEC and especially the international aspect. Are we open enough to see other cultures, to cooperate? When you're here you realize that the world is not only Europe - there so many great people from Asia or Africa for example. IC is a place that challenges some of my views on AIESEC and diversity in general. I wish to those of you who haven't experienced the international spirit to do it, and not to wait it to come but to work hard for it!

I want to thank to the guys from BG delegation - every day we have many interesting talks about AIESEC in Bulgaria and cool ideas come up. And I enjoy very much practising our roll call :)))

Finally, some interesting facts about IC. It is taking place in the campus of Yeditepe university in Istanbul - really cool venue. The attraction of the place are the dogs - there are more than 20 of them walking free all around the venue - you can see from the pics that they even attend some of the sessions :P

IC dog

Blago, Steli, Yassar and Milenski

Canteen

The venue

IC '07 Turkey - part one

2007-08-20T05:37:00.000-07:00

After long long time and after almost everybody was has been saying to me "Man, why don't you write in your blog" I decided to share a little bit with you:) The reason as you can guess is that I'm attending the largest AIESEC event - International Congress, which this year is taking place in Istanbul.
Bulgarian delegation is amazing - Ivo, Steli, Blago, Milenski, Aga, Yassar, Nasko and me:) We had two days of hard preparation in order to present AIESEC in Bulgaria in the best way.

Now we just finished the CEE GN pre-meeting and tomorrow IC itself starts! It's really amazing how motivating the atmosphere is here! In every discussion, session or just on lunches and dinner so many ideas come up to my mind... Even when you hear familiar things (cause we're really well prepared) the perspectives of other delegates are very useful. Although only 3 days have passed I feel some more confident for my role in my LC.

2007-06-14T02:30:00.001-07:00

2007-06-14T02:06:00.000-07:00

ITTS 2007 in Sofia - what an amazing expereince!

2007-04-25T13:54:00.000-07:00

This is my home group from ITTS - Mitko, Maya, Iva, Deni (on the picture), Alex and Poli.

Thank you guys for these amazing 4 days and the unforgettable moments. ITTS was one of the most interesting and inspiring conferences in my AIESEC life and that was mostly because of you:) All the sharing, feedback, jokes and ideas were just great and I'm sure everyone of us learned a lot and had fun a lot:)

The time for my blog has come :)

2007-04-25T13:43:00.000-07:00

Finnaly I found some time for myself and decided to create a blog...Strange thing. I have never felt like sharing with others but now I think it's a moment to start:) I don't know if it'll work but it's worth trying, isn't it?

So, hope to find time and inspiration for sharing and I'll be happy to see your comments here:)